My Sony notebook computer has one of those batteries which have been in the news lately for their propensity to catch fire. This is not a good thing. And so Sony has sent me a replacement battery which I must install today. For some problems, recharging a battery is sufficient. For others a replacement is needed. It is the same with our souls.

Yesterday we considered one of two essays by Henri Nouwen which I recently rediscovered with great profit. The other is a bit longer, but perhaps helpful on this Friday before Christmas:

"I am growing in the awareness that God wants my whole life, not just part of it. It is not enough to give just so much time and attention to God and keep the rest for myself. It is not enough to pray often and deeply and then move from there to my own projects.

"As I try to understand why I am still so restless, anxious, and tense, it occurs to me that I have not yet given everything to God. I notice this especially in my greediness for time. I am very concerned to have enough hours to develop my ideas, finish my projects, fulfill my desires. Thus, my life is in fact divided into two parts--a part for God and a part for myself. Thus divided, my life cannot be peaceful.

"To return to God means to return to God with all that I am and all that I have. I cannot return to God with just half of my being. As I reflected this morning again on the story of the prodigal son and tried to experience myself the embrace of the father, I suddenly felt a certain resistance to being embraced so fully and totally. I experienced not only a desire to be embraced, but also a fear of losing my independence. I realized that God's love is a jealous love. God wants not just a part of me, but all of me. Only when I surrender myself completely to God's parental love can I expect to be free from endless distractions, ready to hear the voice of love, and able to recognize my own unique call.

"It is going to be a very long road. Every time I pray, I feel the struggle. It is the struggle of letting God be the God of my whole being. It is the struggle to trust that true freedom lies hidden in total surrender to God's love.

"Following Jesus is the way to enter into the struggle and find true freedom. The way is the way of the cross, and true freedom is the freedom found in the victory over death. Jesus' total obedience to his Father led him to the cross, and through the cross to a life no longer subject to the competitive games of the world. Jesus held on to nothing, not even to satisfying religious experiences. His words, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' give us a glimpse of the completely surrender of Jesus to his Father. Nothing was left for him to cling to. In this complete surrender he found total unity and total freedom.

"To me Jesus says, 'Come and follow me…I have come so that you may have life and have it abundantly' (John 10:10)…It is not easy to let the voice of God's mercy speak to us because it is a voice asking for an always open relationship, one in which sins are acknowledged, forgiveness received, and love renewed. It does not offer to us a solution, but a friendship. It does not take away our problems, but promises not to avoid them. It does not tell us where it will all end, but assures us that we will never be alone. A true relationship is hard work because loving is hard work, with many tears and many smiles. But it is God's work and worth every part of it.

"O Lord, my Lord, help me to listen to your voice and choose your mercy" (Henri Nouwen's Journey to Daybreak).

Over the coming holidays, why not make some time to listen to the voice of the Christ of Christmas through his word, world, and worship? Your busy, worried, tired soul will never be the same.

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