I'm writing today with several personal friends especially in mind: a mother of a gay son, a brother of a gay sister, a son whose father is divorcing his wife and announcing his homosexuality, and a close college friend who several years ago declared his homosexuality and is no longer in vocational Christian ministry.  What would I say to these four people, if they were reading this essay?  Two comments are easy to make, the other two not as much so.

First, God loves each of us.  He is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance and faith in his Son (2 Peter 3.9).  He so loved the world that he gave his Son for us all (John 3.16).  Nothing we do, no matter how unbiblical, can separate us from his love for us.  Your son, sister, father, or friend is loved by our Father in heaven.

Second, a homosexual person deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.  He or she is acting out a lifestyle which many of us understand to be unbiblical; but so are any of us who practice slander, gossip, heterosexual lust, or egotistical pride.  So-called "gay bashing" is always wrong.  Any action or attitude which demeans a person or makes them less valuable is the opposite of the grace and unconditional love of Christ.

Third, while we wish to offer the dignity and respect of Christian grace to all persons, we cannot truly love them while endorsing that which is unbiblical in their lives.  As intolerant as the next sentence may seem, it is honestly motivated by a sincere desire to speak the truth in love: we can and should pray for those in the homosexual lifestyle to come to repentance and transformation.

After including homosexuality in his list of sins (1 Corinthians 6.9), Paul next told the Corinthians: "And that is what some of you were.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (v. 11).  I recognize that some will read this paragraph as bigoted prejudice.  However, any of us would want to help those we care about to practice a biblical lifestyle which leads to the fullest abundance of Christ's joy (John 10.10).  This is the honest motivation behind my suggestion that such intercession is appropriate for the gay people we know and love.

I must offer one last suggestion, a statement which will engender further resistance from many in the gay community: those who consider themselves to be homosexual by sexual orientation should practice sexual celibacy.  Many will counter that I have no idea how difficult such a lifestyle decision would be.  They're right.  But given that I understand the Bible clearly to teach that homosexuality is an unbiblical lifestyle, the only conclusion I can draw is that the practice of this lifestyle will lead the person out of the will of God and into harmful behavior.  Abstinence is, by this logic, the option which is in that person's best personal interest.  I can only hope that my heart is clear in offering this suggestion.  My desire is not to condemn, but to offer biblical truth as I understand it.

Let me close by expressing my gratitude to the large number of you who wrote in encouragement across the weeks I addressed this subject in The Word Today.  Many of you have agreed with my biblical positions, and affirmed my essays.  Some of you have honestly disagreed with these interpretive conclusions, and have offered other options and reading on the subject.  But every reader who has written, without a single exception, has done so in a gracious, charitable, and godly spirit.  Please know that I am deeply grateful for your kindness.

This survey is offered in the same spirit, with the prayer that the Lord of Scripture will use his word to bring healing, hope, and help to hearts and homes troubled by the issue of homosexuality.  To the degree that these thoughts have shed more light than heat, my prayer will be answered.