Sometimes you feel dumb, sometimes you feel stupid, and sometimes you feel both.

I have been thinking about a room on our campus where I could get away from the phones on occasion for study and prayer. I read recently in our history book that Dr. Howard used the fifth floor room in the bell tower for such a purpose, so I went up there a few days ago to see it. It would be a good space, but does not have heating or cooling.

So a week ago Saturday, as I was driving by the church building on my way home to get ready for the Contemporary Service, I decided to stop and go up to the room to see how cold it gets on a winter day. I didn't tell anyone, or bring my cell phone. I climbed the steps to the fifth floor, the room just below the clock, opened the dead bolt with my key, and apparently relocked the bolt as I closed the door. It locked behind me, with no keyhole on the inside. I was trapped.

Here I am, 155 feet off the ground, five floors above civilization, Saturday at 4:15 in the afternoon, and no one knows I'm here. I tried using my pocketknife to open the deadbolt, without success. I tried prying the pins out of the hinges, without luck. I thought about opening the giant round windows in the room and yelling for help, but wasn't sure that would work. Finally I used a piece of wood in the room to break out the small window in the door, reached my keys through, and carefully unlocked the door. The moment the door opened is now my definition of relief.

The only thing worse that being trapped in our church's bell tower would be if no one noticed. But I choose not to think about that.

Now, don't you feel better about yourself? Apparently, many of us do not.

The Gallup organization’s polls indicate that self-esteem is the chief psychological malady of our day.

John Powell was writing his now-classic book, Why Am I afraid to Tell You Who I Am? and a person asked him, "Do you want an answer to your question?" He said, "That is the purpose of the book, to answer the question." The person said, "But, do you want my answer?" He said, "Yes, of course I do." The person said, "I am afraid to tell you who I am, because if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it’s all that I have."

Who doesn’t feel that way sometimes?

As we begin looking at our most common problems and issues from the perspective of God's purpose and priorities for our lives, let's begin here. It is very hard to love God or our neighbor unless we see ourselves and others as he sees us. Unless we understand God's self-esteem solution. This is foundational, and crucial.

Jabez is the least-sung of all the unsung heroes of the Bible. When was the last time you read the genealogies of 1 Chronicles? Did you know there are genealogies in 1 Chronicles?

It's life-changing stuff: "The sons of Helah: Zereth, Zohar, Ethnan, and Koz, who was the father of Anub and Hazzobebah and of the clans of Aharhel son of Harum" (v. 7). There are about 500 names in these chapters of genealogy. Then, right in the middle of all this monotony, the writer suddenly stops. He changes tracks entirely. He launches into a two-verse story which is found nowhere else in all the word of God, but which the Spirit of God wanted to make sure we knew. And so we have the account of Jabez. Sixty-three words in the NIV, but one of the most powerful stories in Scripture.

It doesn't begin well: "His mother had named him Jabez, saying, '… because I gave birth to him in pain'" (v. 9). Names were crucial in that ancient day. They denoted your character, and told the world your story. "Abraham" meant "father of many nations," "Isaac" was named for his mother's laughter at the news that he would be born, "Peter" was Jesus' hope that Simon would be a rock, and so on.

One would think that a mother would want to give her son a name which would help him, encourage him, get him further in life. Who today names their son Judas? Their daughter Bathsheba?

But here is a mother who names her son "pain." That's exactly what "Jabez" sounds like and means in Hebrew. "A boy named pain." What's the story here? We don't really know, because these two verses are all we have in Scripture about Jabez. You know as much as I do. But we can speculate.

Perhaps his mother was just this mean, this abusive to her son. If she was this uncaring about her son at his birth, imagine what it was like to grow up in her home. Imagine the abuse he encountered, the family life he experienced.

Perhaps his birth caused her such physical pain that she gave him this name as a result. But babies don't choose the manner of their birth, of course. Janet spent sixteen hours in labor with Ryan, but we never thought to blame him for that fact. And so Jabez would go through his life suffering for something which wasn't his fault.

Perhaps the circumstances of his birth were painful. Did his father abandon him and his mother, leaving her to raise him alone in a world where there were no safety nets or societal programs to help? Did their family encounter financial hardships, making another mouth to feed a dismal thing? If so, Jabez would go through life with a name which constantly reminded him and everyone else of the suffering he caused his family. Imagine the guilt he would feel every single day.

Perhaps Jabez suffered from some physical defect which caused his mother pain when she saw it in his birth. A mother's first concern is that her child be well. If Jabez was born with some deformity, she would of course be crushed. In this ancient time, no real medical remedies existed. And popular theology said that God caused such things as retribution for sin. So this kind of birth would be pain indeed. Jabez would go through his life with a physical challenge which was made worse by the name which it caused.

What part of your story is named "pain"? The way your family treated you, or treats you? Unfair blame? Difficult circumstances or moral choices? Physical problems? What about your story would you change if you could? What shame or pain do you carry in your heart? What about your past are you grateful we don't know?

We're all named "pain" in some way. If it wasn't your mother who gave you the name, someone or something else did. And you carry it still today. And you think in some deep, hidden part of your soul, that the name is right. That you are a pain. That you are not worthy of love, of devotion, of grace. We all do.

Because this is his very nature. Because he wants to bless us, because he loves us. Not because Jabez deserves his blessing, or because we do. Because he wants to give it.

You may think that God only gives us what we deserve, or that he only blesses us when we convince him to. Your picture of God may be the Cosmic Killjoy, a stern deity of wrath and anger. Your God may be the Universal Policeman, constantly enforcing legalistic justice. Or he may be the Holy Perfectionist, constantly disappointed by our inadequacy. If you think that about God, you're wrong.

Here's how God describes himself: "The Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin" (Exodus 34:6-7). He is "compassionate and gracious" by his very nature. Put simply, God wants to bless us!

What is this "blessing" God wants to give us? Dr. Bruce Wilkinson has a wonderful little book on the subject of Jabez's prayer, a small volume I highly recommend to you.

Here is his answer: "To bless in the biblical sense means to ask for or to impart supernatural favor. When we ask for God's blessing, we're not asking for more of what we could get for ourselves. We're crying out for the wonderful, unlimited goodness that only God has the power to know about or give to us. This kind of richness is what the writer was referring to in Proverbs: 'The Lord's blessing is our greatest wealth; all our work adds nothing to it'"(Proverbs 10:22, TLB) (The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life, 23-4, emphasis mine).

If God wants to give us such blessing, the "wonderful, unlimited goodness that only God has the power to know about or give to us," then why don't some of us see more of his blessings? Because we haven't asked him to.

Jesus told us, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7). James was blunt: "You do not have, because you do not ask God" (James 4:2).

When was the last time you asked God to bless you with his supernatural favor? When life calls you "pain," call on God.

Now Jabez gets specific, as should we. "Enlarge by territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." Let's explore these requests for a moment, and learn how to make them ourselves.

"Enlarge my territory," he says. Jabez wants more land, so he can do more good. So he can give more, and be more, and do more. If he were a business CEO he would have prayed, "Lord, give us more customers and a larger market share;" as a physician he would have prayed for more patients; as a student he would have prayed for more campus influence; as a pastor he would have prayed for more ministry and members.

Did you know that you can pray like this? So long as your ambition is for God and for good, it in fact pleases the Lord.

But, Jabez knows that more land, more possessions, more customers, more members is not the answer by itself. "let your hand be with me."

Give me the power to use your gifts and blessings well. This is the power of the Holy Spirit, living in us, ready to enable us to do far more than we can do on our own.

Further, "keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." As Jesus taught us to pray, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." The man named Pain asks God to keep him from it.

You and I will defeat Satan's temptations far more often by simply refusing to fight. By refusing to be tempted. By asking God to keep us from harm and pain.

These specific requests must please our Lord, for "God granted his request." He prayed that God would give him supernatural blessings, more influence and ministry, the power of his Spirit, protection from temptation. And he did. God will grant these requests when we make them as well.

How do you see yourself? Do you know that God loves you, and that he loves to bless you? That he is a God of abundance, and that he wants to give you every blessing he can? That you are a person worthy of his love, his grace, his mercy, his blessing?

If you see yourself as God sees you, you can see your neighbor as God sees him or her—as someone worthy of our great God's love as well. And you can see God as love, and as worthy of your love. Jabez could live by God's two priorities, because he had God's view of life. So can we.

A man was out at night walking in the desert when a voice said, "Reach down and pick up some stones and put them in your pocket, and in the morning you will be both glad and sad." The man did as he was directed.

The next morning he looked at the pebbles in his pocket and discovered that they were diamonds. He was both glad and sad. Glad he had picked up some diamonds and sad that he had not picked up more.

We might be that way in heaven, depending on our response to today’s message. Glad that we received all of God’s blessing we did. Sad that we did not receive more of all he wanted to give us because he loves us and we are worthy of his grace.

How sad will you be?

Benard of Clairvaux was a Twelfth Century French pastor and theologian. Listen carefully to his four stages of Christian spiritual growth, and see where you are today:

Love of self for self’s sake.

Love of God for self’s sake.

Love of God for God’s sake.

Love of self for God’s sake.

Have you achieved true spiritual maturity? What step will you take next?